So when you give to the needy, don’t announce it with trumpets like the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets to be honoured by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full! But when you give to the needy, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.”
Matthew 6:2-4
The Bible is full of verses about giving. We should all give to others, and with a cheerful heart, of course, but there’s so much more to it. It can be emotional and complex, and the condition of our heart is very important for us to try to understand.
In the world’s view today, “If I scratch your back, you scratch mine”, but that’s not the way that Christians should behave or believe. It’s our human nature, but we are to “be transformed” as we grow in our faith.
Yet even many Pastors treat life that way. Christians can actually become so emotionally drained by giving so much of themselves to others, but with the wrong motives, that they often leave the Church and even their faith.
They also may not leave their faith but they can become bitter and selfish instead, sowing seeds of strife in their relationships, hurting others because of their own unmet expectations.
It’s so important that we dig deep within ourselves and discover why we’re giving. Is it for the right reason, and with the right expectations, or do we actually do it for selfish reasons that we may not know about within ourselves?
Is it because it makes us feel good or important? Does it impress our friends? Are we filling a void in our own lives, like a codependency? There are so many different reasons that we may not realize are going on in our hearts and minds.
I was inspired to write about this because it’s a lesson that I learned a long time ago and today, as I was scrolling through Facebook, I saw a post from a wonderful man, who gives his life in the service of others, and yet he is being attacked by people that he has personally helped during his service. He has been wounded by the same people that he has personally lifted up out of the gutter.
I understand that emotion, and I started replying to his post with this message. I copied much of it, and decided that it was a good teaching for anyone, especially those who love Christ, and try to love others!
Whenever my husband and I give, we try to do so anonymously, but when we have to let the recipient know that it’s coming through us, we tell them that “This is a gift from your Heavenly Father! He has simply allowed us the privilege of being able to be His hands on Earth, through which it is being delivered!”
It’s so true! 100% ! True concerning what our attitudes should be, not necessarily true that Steve and I always accomplish these goals. We’re human and not perfect but this is how we try to behave in our hearts.
Every gift and talent that we’ve been given, in order to be able to have our resources (money, time, counsel, or others), was our Heavenly Father’s gift to us, so they’re nothing to boast or brag about!
We could have just as easily been born in a poor country, or with mental challenges, etc., so the fact that He’s allowed us to thrive and be blessed in certain areas is a gift that just allows His blessings to go through us.
My Momma used to tell me “Never let someone else’s negative treatment of you change the person that God created you to be!” He created us to Love others and part of that is to help them when we are able to do so.
I’ll also add that, because I truly believe that the gift is just coming through our hands, I have no expectation of that person, to recognize me as having been a part of that process. I used to though.
Back when I was in ministry, I started and directed an organization that helped parents after their children had died. I did that for about a decade and helped about 150 families.
There was a point though, when I began to feel neglected, and under appreciated. I’d had a mom in the support group who had turned on me, and treated me horribly because she had put ME on a pedestal in her mind (that I didn’t ask for), instead of Jesus, and then something I did or didn’t do had disappointed her expectations of me, and I fell off of that pedestal, hard! Notice the words “Her expectations”. That was her issue and not about me, but at the time, I was extremely wounded by her actions.
Most of those that I helped though, would just move on from the initial shock of their loss and then never acknowledge what I had done for them. I realize now that they likely saw me as a reminder of such terrible pain, and that in order for them to “move forward”, they just had to forget about me.
I hadn’t yet realized that the people I was ministering to weren’t supposed to become my friends. I still had my own wrong expectations of them as well. That‘s all in my post about the Circle of Relationships in our lives. One day, God pulled me aside, at Target of all places…. and gave me a “talking to”! It was gentle, yet firm. He said to me, “Who are you doing this for?” I said, “The people who are hurting, like I had been hurt after Robby died.” He said, “That’s the wrong answer. Do you think that I could not do it without you? I’m giving you the privilege of being able to be my Hands here on earth, for those people! I want you to know that I’M thankful for your obedience! I’M proud of you! What you’re doing is an offering TO ME, not FOR them. Yes, it blesses them but don’t expect your reward to come from them! That will come from me, in eternity!” Wow! I really “got it” then! I should have understood that before but sometimes that’s the way God works. It’s called “Revelation Knowledge”. I had heard this most of my life, but before it was just “Head Knowledge” and not heart knowledge. Sometimes we can hear something 100 times, and then one day you finally really understand it. I pray that this may help someone who is feeling drained and under appreciated, to truly hear that what you do for “others” is not really for them but it’s an offering to your Heavenly Father, who loves you, and is proud of your obedience. Nobody else’s behavior or attitudes should have anything to do with it! Give your emotions and disappointments to Him. Evaluate your own heart and figure out what your motivation in your giving is, and make sure it’s pure. You may never be acknowledged in this life but your rewards are waiting in Heaven. Actually, your greatest reward is being pleasing to Him now!
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