So lately I have noticed a commercial by Etsy called “Growing up”. In it, it has scene after scene of a teenage girl being, what I would consider to be, completely rebellious and disrespectful of her mother. I know that if I had behaved that way, or my children had, there would have been very negative consequences. That would be, in my opinion, good parenting.
It begins with her mom walking by the bathroom door, to see her daughter piercing her ears, to which the daughter slams the door on her mom and lies about doing it.
Then it moves on to the daughter leaving the house on a date with a boy that her mother knew nothing about. After that the daughter is hiding under the covers with her cell phone, after lights out for the night.
Lastly, it shows the daughter packing to go somewhere, only to find a gift of earrings from Mom for “your newly pierced ears!” The mom is basically trying to get her daughter to “like” her with a bribe. A “reward” for her bad behavior.
At first it seems like a well made commercial but after seeing it a few times, I began to get really upset about the messaging it was sending. Of course it would be wonderful if our children “liked” us, but parents aren’t always going to be “liked”. We aren’t our children’s “friends” when they are young. Hopefully, if we do our jobs correctly, we will raise adults who like us and then they may even become our best friends, but not when we’re raising them!
That commercial is a small example of how far our society has fallen, when it comes to basic respect and honesty that we should hold our children to account for. At the very least, they shouldn’t be rewarded for behaving in a disrespectful way.
I was raised in a wonderful family and I would have never dreamed of behaving like this young girl does at such a young age. I may have snuck things or hidden them, but to shut a door on my mother, lie and disrespect her in these ways would have resulted in me being grounded for weeks, at the very least. Certainly not a reward.
I know that my children would have never dreamed of this type of behavior either. Not without suffering a punishment for it. I had 18 years to raise decent, respectful, human beings! I always kept that in mind when I would discipline them. I wasn’t punishing them for myself or my own anger. It was always for the benefit of my child and to be aware of the character traits that they needed to learn, for themselves and for the benefit of others, whose lives they would impact.
To reward her daughter with a gift, instead of teaching her respect and accountability is not only doing the daughter a disservice. It’s exactly the type of parenting that does our society a disservice, by producing entitled, selfish humans.
These are the types of messages that our children are being fed daily and have become “normalized” in thinking that it’s okay. I’m not okay with that but all I can do is express my opinion about it and pray for younger parents, raising this new generation. The effects of Social Media and a constant bombardment of tech messaging WILL have an effect on our society, both good and bad.
My other worry is one that no generation has had to encounter. The effects on the brain development of these young children being exposed to these technologies. Studies have shown that in the brain, technology lights up the same areas of the that cocaine lights up. What will happen to their little brains when those areas are being stimulated from the ages of 2-3 years old, when parents give them an iPad as a pacifier.
We’re already seeing the results of the emotional impacts that Social Media has had on the latest generation. They have spent their formative years comparing themselves to filtered images of “perfect people”, and by how many “likes” their pictures and stories of their lives receive.
They can also never escape their bullies. At least before technology, if someone was bullying you, you could find refuge at home. That’s no longer the case. There’s no escape. The rates of mental illness and depression have skyrocketed!
Now what effects will those technologies have on the developing brains of babies and young children who have never known a life without that constant stimulation?
These issues are NOT like previous generations saying “kids these days”! Science has proven that this is something that society has never faced before and that we have NO IDEA what those results will be on them.
Add to that the constant desensitization of their emotions towards violence, with mass shootings every day, and dramatic situations, and the only thing that we can do is pray and attempt to wake our young parents up to the facts today.
It’s called “Intentional Parenting” instead of “Reactionary Parenting”! Looking beyond the temporary situation of the crying toddler or petulant 8 year old, and think ahead about the adults they will become! Society will change but we can still try to limit the damaging effects for some children, by alerting young parents about these facts.
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