Having been an admin of support groups for decades now, both in real life and online, I have a great understanding of the dedication, heart and wisdom that it requires to oversee groups of sometimes thousands of people. It is often a full time, unpaid, and under appreciated job.
Therefore, I want to write about it for two purposes. First, to educate the public about what it takes to do that job, and secondly to give a heartfelt thank you for the admins that I know.
I first started running and organizing support groups in the 90’s, when I was a Chaplain, and after my son had died. That was before social media and required a tremendous amount of time and energy.
I began a 501c3 group called Mission TLC (Treasuring our Lost Children), and did that for almost a decade, before my health made it too difficult to keep up with.
After that I felt lost and almost guilty because I didn’t have an outlet for helping others. Little did I know that those same health struggles that would sideline my ability to minister in one way, would open up a new chapter and ability to help in another.
I ended up joining a bunch of online support communities, because of my many diagnosis’s, and gradually became drawn to one in particular.
I became an admin for years with that group, which became a very large medical support group over the years. We were all astounded by the growth and we did have growing pains. There were lessons learned the hard way, through various dramatic events. You really had to be there back then to understand.
There were usually about 6-8 admins at any given time and the hours that were put into doing the job were definitely full time. We often neglected our families and our own health, for the sake of helping others with the rare disease that we were all suffering from.
We would have waves of active participants come and go, which gave us insight into the recoveries of its members. New members would come in and bond with other slightly “older” members, and that became its own mini support system. They may have gotten surgeries at around the same time, and go through the same phases of recovery, and then they would leave.
In any environment where you have so many people, you are going to deal with every possible personality type, and problems that you never could have dreamed existed. That is especially true when the members are in pain, both physical and mental. This was why having good rules and guidelines in the group were so vital.
Members can’t even begin to imagine the dramas that had occurred over the years, and therefore would often get angry with the guidelines, even though they were accepted as a requirement of joining the group to begin with.
We had enough work on our plates with the subject matter that the group was intended for, without having to explain the reasons for the guidelines over and over again.
With some members there was a general lack of respect for the collective knowledge of the admins, who had been in the group for years, and had witnessed every type of patient, treatment, and debates possible. Those could stir up controversy and confusion and it was the admins’ role to get to the bottom of things, and stop the drama. This would sometimes take days and could cause anger with those members.
On the other hand, the vast majority of members were wonderful! They were so thankful that they had found a place that had that collective knowledge and support! They were the reason that we kept going.
They were also the reason that I created the medical section for my blog. We would often spend hours on the computer or the phone, answering the same questions over and over again, daily.
It got to the point that I wanted to create a space that everyone could refer others to, to answer those “basic” questions. That way the admins and members in the groups would be able to spend more time on the support aspects.
I am no longer an admin in that large group. I am with a few smaller groups, but I have recovered my health to the place that my life has become too busy to spend hours a day in the big group. I don’t want to disappoint members when their expectations are too high for any admin to fulfill.
This is the point of this post. To inform people that might expect too much, about the work that these wonderful people put into helping others, and then to thank the admins that still put in the work every day!
You are each spectacular! I’ve seen how “others centered” you can all be. It’s a very difficult job, and we all get exhausted and can make mistakes, but your intentions are pure and I thank you!
You create safe places and protect the people who join them, to the best of anyone’s ability. Especially in this day and age of cyber bullying, scamming, stalking, etc.
It truly takes love and also wisdom! I pray that you continue to have both!
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